


Opening Up

by BrightSpace



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex opens up to Maggie, Comfort, F/F, Maggie's so sweet, One Shot, fluff I guess?!, she's nervous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:59:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9814424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightSpace/pseuds/BrightSpace
Summary: Alex is nervous and embarrassed to tell Maggie something about herself that she's never told anyone. Maggie is so supportive and loving about everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write something for the first time ever. English is not my first language and all mistakes are mine. Comments are very appreciated.

It had been 3 months since they had officially started dating. 3 months since Alex was the happiest she’s ever been in her whole life. 3 months since Maggie felt really cared for for the first time. Of course they had their ups and downs just like any other couple, but they were so madly in love that the ups outnumbered the downs.

They both had a very busy day at work. Keeping National City safe was no easy job, physically and psychologically. So both girls were kind of used to having some nights when one of them was a bit down. But nothing like tonight. No. Tonight something was clearly wrong with Alex and Maggie could tell it from the moment her girlfriend welcomed her to her apartment to their now casual movie night.

Alex was always so present when they spent time together, talking about her day, laughing and kissing Maggie all the time. How Alex loved doing that. She could kiss her girlfriend’s lips all day if it was possible. And this time she seemed a little off. And Maggie could read her girlfriend so well. A change of tone in Alex’s voice, a different hand gesture or body movement it was all it took for her to know something was wrong.

It was movie night so they would obviously cuddle and watch something. Alex hit play and sat beside Maggie on the sofa. She was so quiet, she would normally comment on the bad special effects or something like that, but not tonight.

“Alex?” Maggie said softly while carefully reaching for Alex’s hand. “Hmm…” Alex said almost inaudibly and Maggie was so sure something was troubling her beautiful girlfriend’s mind.

“Alex, babe, look at me”, it took a couple of seconds for Alex to register that Maggie was talking to her. “What?”, she said almost like a whisper, slowly meeting Maggie’s gaze.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen at the DEO today?”, her voice was so soft and Alex loved listening to it and she loved how caring Maggie always was with her. She would always check on her to see if everything was okay and Alex loved her so much for that.

“No, no, it was just a regular day, nothing new”, she replied quickly shaking her head. “So what’s bothering you, babe?”, Maggie continued the conversation pausing the movie they were watching.

“I… um… I was just thinking… about me, about… about us, all the things I’m living and experiencing right now”, she paused for a second trying to hold back tears. Everything she was feeling was so new and extremely good but she couldn’t help but feeling that maybe it was a bit too much for her to take. “Sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming, you know!?” Her voice breaking at the last words. Maggie gave her hand a gentle squeeze reassuring that she was there and that she was listening to everything she was saying.

Alex was never one to share her personal thoughts and feelings with many people, in fact, the only person she had ever felt comfortable with to talk about all those things was Kara. And yes, she had to admit that sometimes even talking to Kara about certain things about her life was still a bit difficult. This was just the way she was. Keeping things to herself for no specific reason, just the way she’s always felt comfortable. No oversharing, especially about her feelings.

But once she met Maggie she found someone else with whom she could share her thoughts, her feelings. Her girlfriend was someone she trusted deeply and sharing personal things with her was easier, even though some subjects were a bit harder for her to talk about. And it was exactly about one of these things that she couldn’t stop thinking about for the past few days.

“We can always talk about anything you want Alex. If this-” Maggie moved her hands between the two of them, “if this is too much, if we’re taking things too fast, you know you can always talk to me babe, I’m here for you and I’d never want to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable or unloved.”

“I know that Mags. And I do wanna talk to you about something… something about me”, Alex said slowly shifting her body so then they were sitting one in front of the other. Maggie never letting go of Alex’s hand.

“You know I’m always here for you”, Maggie looked deep down her girlfriend’s eyes which were still moist from the tears she was holding back a few minutes earlier.

“Huum…”, Alex gave a nervous laughter and that was pretty much the only thing she was able to do. She was so nervous. Her feet were bouncing up and down. “Why is this so hard?”, she said quietly almost to herself.

“Alex, do you trust me?”

“More than anything.”

Maggie stroked Alex’s cheeks and gave her a soft kiss, feeling a small smile forming on her girlfriend’s lips. “So just talk to me, what’s bothering that beautiful mind of yours?”, Maggie said breaking the kiss and placing her hand back on top of Alex’s hand.

“We agreed that we don’t have anything to keep away from each other. No secrets”, Alex said keeping her focus on Maggie who nodded her head in agreement. “So… there’s something about me I’d like you to know”, she continued speaking.

“Do you remember that night at the bar, the one when I kind of came out to you?” Alex asked expecting Maggie to remember and of course she remembered. “Yeah, I do”. How could Maggie forget? Alex Danvers, the badass DEO agent opening up to her.

“I… I told you that I got asked out a few times, but that I never liked being intimate, that it was just not my thing”, Alex continued trying her hardest to keep her voice steady. Maggie listened carefully and caught up to what Alex might have been trying to tell her.

“Do you not want to be intimate with me?”, there was no judgment in her voice, it was an honest question. “Because there’s nothing wrong with it Alex, we’ll never do anything that you’re not comfortable with and-” Alex cut her girlfriend’s words “Oh god, no Maggie, no. I do want to be intimate with you, not just hot kisses, more than that actually, but when… when I’m ready.”

“Of course Alex” Maggie stroked a piece of hair behind Alex ear. “We’d never, _ever_ , do anything without you being ready. It always has to be something for the both of us”, Maggie reassured her girlfriend.

Alex still hadn’t got to the point she was trying to bring up, the reason why she was so nervous to have this conversation. “And there’s no secret that I wanna be you with, um… sexually”, she blushed a little. Maggie moved her hand to caress her girlfriend’s face, “Babe, you don’t have to be embarrassed to want to have sex with your girlfriend”.

“Yeah… about- about that…. that I wanna talk about”, her heart was beating faster each second that passed by. She couldn’t even form her words right anymore. Why was this so hard, why was this such a big deal for her? She knew Maggie loved her no matter what, but still, she was searching for words that would not come out of her mouth easily.

Maggie held her girlfriend’s hands and stroked her knuckles giving her a soft smile that showed her adorable dimples that never failed to warm Alex’s heart.

“I… um… All those boys who asked me out in the past, it was hard for me to accept to go out on a date with them. I’d force myself to go because everyone was doing that, that’s what was expected, just the normal thing girls would do. That never felt natural to me tough. I- I don’t know, it just never felt right”, Alex took a deep breath and continued. “Some boys weren’t so boring that I’d agree to go on a few more dates with them.” She wasn’t looking at Maggie anymore and that was okay, Maggie wanted to give her girlfriend the space she needed.

“But… you know how it is, going out with the same guy more than twice they already expect something from you… and I… I…” she closed her eyes feeling so stupid for making it look like such a big thing.

“And you never felt the same way?”, Maggie said, lightly touching Alex’s hand to not alarm her.

“And they were clearly enjoying all that, but it never felt right, it would never feel okay and I’d back away every time”, Alex moved her head slowly and was able to look at Maggie, encountering warm and understanding eyes.

“So…” Alex heart was beating so fast, she was sort of embarrassed to say it out loud. “What I’m trying, and failing badly, to say is… is that… um… I’ve- I’ve never been… intimate _intimate_ with anyone before.” She felt like a big weight was coming out of her shoulders, it took her awhile but she did it, she told Maggie one thing she had never shared with anyone, even Kara.

“Alex”, Maggie wanted her girlfriend to know that there was nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with that. “Everyone has their own time, when they feel comfortable enough, when they feel loved. There’s no need to rush and no reason at all to be worried about me knowing that. It’ll only make our first time, when you’re completely ready, feel even more special.”

“Thank you”, Alex said shyly looking down. Maggie cupped her chin and brought her in for a kiss. “I wanted to talk about this sooner, but I could never bring myself to actually say it.” Alex continued speaking and her voice was so much lighter. “It feels so good to talk about this with someone, to be open about this for the first time”.

“Is there anything else you wanna talk about? There’s nothing we cannot talk about okay? You don’t have to be afraid or nervous to ask me anything, Alex. I love you and nothing is gonna change that”, Maggie said reaching the other girl for a hug. “I love you too”, Alex said while hugging her girlfriend. They stayed buried in each other’s arms for a few minutes till Alex shifted her body so then Maggie could cuddle her.

“Yeah, I mean…”, Alex broke the silence, “I’ve always thought that there was something wrong with me, you know!?” Maggie was caressing Alex back now.

“And I felt like that for a long time. I never really enjoyed kissing the boys I’d kiss. I only did it because I felt pressured to do so”, she continued talking and Maggie was carefully listening to her.

But kissing a girl, kissing Maggie, her world had turned upside-down. It felt so good to finally kiss someone and feel like it was right. Now Alex understood what all her high school friends were talking about the butterflies they’d get from kissing boys. She’d never got those before kissing Maggie. She would only get this weird feeling in her stomach every time she kissed a boy. She never knew how to explain what she always felt, it was easier to agree with her friends that it was indeed butterflies, but that was always a lie and deep down Alex knew it.

Kissing Maggie was completely different and Alex was so sure that the warm fuzzy feeling she’d get in her stomach were definitely butterflies this time. And this made her feel so comfortable around her girlfriend, she still couldn’t believe such words were coming out of her mouth. “My girlfriend Maggie”. She always sounded so excited and proud, it felt like a dream.

“And then, as I got older”, Alex continued opening up her heart, “the whole intimacy thing, I just couldn’t do it and that freaked me out. I mean, I thought I was broken. I just didn’t get _me_ , why I’d always act like that around guys if I was supposed to fall in love with a man.”

“Uhum.”

“And I know it’s stupid to think like that, but… I… um… for a long time I felt embarrassed by it”, Alex said letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “By being a virgin?” Maggie asked just to be sure.

Alex gave her a little nod and Maggie hugged her tighter. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about that, Alex.”

“I kinda know that now, but I felt embarrassed for so long that it’s just a bit difficult to put that feeling behind me, you know!?”

“Yeah”, Maggie gave Alex a smile.

“When I started thinking about me, about my sexuality and all that, I just, I… I started to get why I’d never feel comfortable with any man. It’s like everything clicked into place”, Alex stopped talking for a while and then continued, “Of course it’s confusing as hell, but it feels so good to just get me”. She was crying now, happy tears.

“I know, I know”, Maggie said reaching for Alex’s cheeks to wipe away the tears. “Thank you”, she said after a few seconds. Alex looked confused by her girlfriend’s words. “For what?”, she questioned, “I should be the one thanking you for being such an understanding girlfriend!”.

Maggie gently grabbed one of Alex’s hands and kissed it, “Thank you for trusting me, for sharing all that with me”, she gave Alex another soft smile. “I know that wasn’t easy and you are so brave, babe”.

“How did I get so lucky?”, Alex was grinning now. “Oh”, Maggie let out a soft laugh leaning forward to capture Alex’s lips with her own, “trust me Danvers, I’m the lucky one for having you”.


End file.
